Friday, May 2, 2008

I gained five pounds today... Whoops.

I had a very poignant talk with my Mom about camp.
I told her how it helped me live without inhibitions, and how I can't fathom ever loving a place or time in my life more. Or how it saved my self esteem. Or how I felt like I was worth something. Or how I felt like such an integral part of something that was more than myself. Or how I knew I was loved. Or how I developed friendships that can't compare to people who I've known since 4th grade. Or how I realized that even though I'm fat, I deserve to be happy.

Jesus, why did I ever leave?

But anyway, she was really touched by it, which is good, because she hasn't always had the most positive things to say about camp.

I just think I would regret not eventually going back to be a counselor. I really think I would be good. You know. To give back.
Someday.

But this summer, I need to continue with higher education.
Yippy.



Anyway, here's to another summer without camp. I would give anything to go back for just a day/night. Like to 4 summers ago, when everything began...

Things are so different now.







It's a lottery baby. Everybody roll the dice.